You know what I think is really funny about changing my mind? When I pick up my Smart Phone and see that it’s time for a software update, I don’t think twice about upgrading it. I bet you’re the same way. We know that in order for our phones to operate to the best of their ability, they have to have the newest software update.
Maybe the update fixes some bugs that were slowing things down, or it improves usability. Whatever the fix – the updates are important. The developers learn from their mistakes and from what the users want, and they make adjustments.
We’ll make a software update in the blink of an eye, but when it comes to our mindset, some of us have never updated it our whole lives!
When it comes to mindset, most of the people who come to me trying to lose weight or make healthier choices, are dealing with a mindset issue. The weight is not the issue. It’s the way they think about the weight that is the issue.
Fix the mindset, and the weight starts coming off.
So, is it time for a mindset reboot?
Step 1: Change Your Mind – Understand the Block
If you’ve been trying unsuccessfully to lose weight for a while, there’s something going on that you either can’t see or aren’t willing to see. Once you can clearly see what’s holding you back, that counts as a mindset update!
Identifying the real issue is the first step.
The only reason anyone would sabotage their own success is because they unconsciously associate some sort of drawback to achieving their goal. Think about it: if you knew that losing 25 lbs would put you in a better mood, improve your sex life, extend your life and cost you thousands less in medical bills, you’d do it!
And yet, you do already know these things, but the weight hasn’t come off. How come?
There’s an unconscious block holding you back. You don’t take the actions necessary because you see there’s a drawback to achieving your goal.
So let’s start with writing down your goal. Then write down 10 negative things that will happen as you achieve your goal.
For instance, let’s say your goal is to lose 25 lbs. Some negative associations might be:
…I’ll have to buy new clothes and I can’t afford it.
…My sister will get jealous and fight with me.
…My best friend will tell me I’m “too good” for her.
…I’ll have to go to the gym, and that’s embarrassing
…I won’t be able to eat 15 Thin Mints every night.
See where I’m going with this? Write down yours now.
Step 2: Change Your Mind – Hone in on the Biggies
Now you have your list of 10 drawbacks that will come with your goal. Take a look at the list, and circle the three drawbacks that stand out to you the most. It might get emotional, and that’s okay. In fact, if you get emotional, you know you’ve hit the nail on the head.
Sit with those three drawbacks for a bit. I like to soak in the bath with relaxing music when I need to really think something over. Let it sink in.
Now the question becomes this: are those three drawbacks scary enough that you’d rather live a lifetime of being overweight than deal with them?
Step 3: Change Your Mind – Understand that the Weight is Not the Problem
When you’re able to deeply connect with the three drawbacks you’ve circled, you’ll start to understand that the weight is not the problem. The extra weight is a symptom of something else.
As one of my clients mentioned, “Even if I lose the weight it won’t fix my relationship.” That is so true! If you’re dealing with a tough time in your partnership or marriage – or any relationship, for that matter – losing weight will not fix the issue. In fact, it might exacerbate it.
When you understand that the weight isn’t the problem, you can look at the actual issue that is causing you to sabotage your success. Maybe it’s a challenge in your marriage, maybe it’s difficulty with children, or work, or something else. It’s time to look more closely at these relationships.
The point of the exercise is to illuminate areas where you may be holding yourself back. When you can see the negatives that might come hand in hand with your success, you can see opportunities to make a different choice. When you see the opportunities to make a different choice, you can take actions that will change your life.